Duration-based Approaches to Sex: How to Last Longer in Bed Through Measured Phases
“Endurance is patience concentrated.” — Thomas Carlyle
Sexual fulfillment is a fundamental human pursuit, and even after a gratifying night of lovemaking it’s only natural to wonder if it’s possible to last longer in bed. The answer to this often-asked question is a resounding “yes” — and can be supported by the idea that managing the act of penetration is key to extending the experience.
After all, a female partner is much more adept at coital stamina due to the fact that she does not need a period of “recovery” between orgasms. A male partner, however, is limited by his biology and must concede that upon climaxing, his focus will inevitably shift as his erection subsides.
This is a yin/yang dynamic that has defined the contrast between men and women for time immemorial. The sooner you make peace with the facts, the sooner you can learn how to last longer while enjoying marathon lovemaking sessions. This can be done by progressing along through specific phases, which can be enhanced by intimate products and extended through time-tested physical techniques. These include ice-breaking, foreplay, rising excitement, managed penetration and post-play.
Sip Don’t Chug
If you’re reading this, chances are good that your attraction to your partner can sometimes drive you to the point of being overwhelmed by excitement. Unbridled desire can lead to a very short session between the sheets and even premature ejaculation (PE). Unless time is short and you’ve both agreed on a quickie, it is possible to slow things down during a romantic evening by taking things one phase at a time. The first step is to open up communication by uncorking a bottle of provocatively-named wine. A few sips can relax you enough to decelerate your raging libido so that she stands a chance of enjoying the experience along with you. Keep in mind that most women require longer, more diverse stimulation to achieve orgasm — and if you don’t chill out you will have reached the top of the mountain before she ever becomes fully aroused. Don’t overdo it on the vino, just see this phase as a pace-setting exercise for a journey that is more of a luxury cruise than a choppy ride on a speedboat.
Walk Don’t Run
Foreplay is a sensuous part of lovemaking that is often overlooked. This phase can be especially effective if you are prone to PE and you want to extend the experience for the sake of your partner’s fulfillment. This is an excellent opportunity for you and your partner to explore one another’s erogenous zones with arousing adult toys such as vibrating nipple stimulators and feather tickler play sets. It is also important to remember that while your primary turn-ons are visually driven, hers may be a bit more complex. Imagine inspiring her excitement to match the level of yours by reading steamy excerpts from female erotica stories. You can awaken her pleasure receptors by caressing kissable, warming love oil across her skin and breathing it to life with gentle pecks and puffs or with a few delicate dabs of arousal oil. The added benefit here is that by focusing on your partner’s pleasure, you can last longer in bed distracting yourself from the fact that you are already turned on.
Elevate the Excitement
Since there’s a good chance your female partner is capable of having multiple orgasms, a great strategy is to deliberately assist her in doing exactly that. You can begin her recurrent ferris wheel ride over the arch of the rainbow with an initial session of cunnilingus. If adult toys are a welcome idea, you can even enhance your oral strokes with a vibrating tongue teaser. Simultaneous stimulation of the clitoris and G-spot can accelerate and intensify her orgasm, and there are mini wands and rabbit vibrators designed to help you help her. This is also a great time to indulge a partner who entertains a bondage fetish with some consenting tie-ups and playful restraints. Also, it is a fact that many women, after achieving climax, find that they can do so again in a much shorter amount of time. This means that once you have elevated her pleasure you can keep doing so — provided you manage your own proximity to the top of the mountain.
Enjoy Multiple Peaks
There is a palpable pleasure and sublime satisfaction in bringing your partner to multiple orgasms, but now that you’ve “paid it forward” it’s time to get yourself further involved. The Journal of Sexual Medicine reports that women are more likely to experience multiple orgasms through partnered sex (intercourse) rather than continuous oral stimulation or foreplay. If you find that the mind blowing pleasure of penetration causes you to climax too quickly, there are steps you can take to prolong the experience. You can apply prolong spray or delaying gel — products that have a mild numbing effect so that you can last longer in bed. There are an array of topicals including a hemp-based lubrication that can be applied prior to intercourse. The active ingredients absorb quickly, so the numbing properties affect you with little or no transfer to your partner.
Do it Old-school
A more organic approach to lasting longer requires that you employ a sense of hyper self-awareness during sex, meaning that as you begin the quick ascent towards orgasm, you discipline yourself to slow down and even briefly disengage from intercouse. This allows you to cool down for a few moments, providing you with more time to ramp back up towards climax. During this phase of ebb and flow towards your own orgasm, you can further postpone ejaculation by learning to employ your pubococcygeus muscle (PC) for better ejaculatory control. This is done by using your pelvic musculature to squeeze the same set of tissues you would if were you to stop urinating mid-stream.
On the opposite end of the arousal spectrum, some men can experience erectile dysfunction (ED) which can diminish your chances of lasting longer in bed. Thankfully, there are topical vitality treatments designed to enhance arousal, increase volume and support stamina. Erectile support can also be achieved through the use of performance rings and vibrating rings which heighten sensitivity and arousal, respectively. Your PC muscle can play a part here as well, albeit in a different capacity. When going about your daily routines, you can perform what are known as “Kegel” exercises wherein you squeeze your PC muscle (using your internal pelvic girdle musculature) for intervals of 10 seconds or so with 30 seconds of rest in between sets. If you do this for 10 sets in a row just once a day, overall volume of blood flow to your genitals will gradually increase, expanding the capillaries in the area, improving cellular health and assisting matters when it is time to achieve an erection.
Relish in the Afterglow
Regardless of whether or not you are dealing with PE or ED, the goal is to stay in the game long enough so you can bring your partner to orgasm multiple times. Heck, if you’re really outgoing you can even offer to take her over the rainbow one more time using your foreplay strategies — even though your pleasure ship has temporarily sailed.
Lasting longer can greatly increase mutual enjoyment of sex and can have a profoundly positive effect on your relationship. Understanding your orgasmic biology and that of your partner can improve intimacy, communication and your partner’s appreciation of the fact that you took measures to last longer in bed.