Menopause and Sex: How to Enhance Intimacy During Times of Change
“When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge.” — Tuli Kupferberg
Female sexuality can be regarded as a macrocosm of deeply personal feelings, dynamic thought processes, naturally transitioning hormones, distinctive personality traits and innate physical characteristics that can almost always be in some sort of a state (subtle or otherwise) of flux and change.
Step Back for a Moment
To think about the sheer scope of hormonal changes a woman endures — aside from the rest of the factors stated above — can itself be overwhelming. From the onset of puberty to the development of secondary sexual characteristics to ongoing monthly menstrual cycles to the gradual reduction in estrogen production — there’s a whole lot that takes place in a relatively short amount of time. Each changing dimension of the female sexuality macrocosm can significantly affect its counterparts, and menopause is no exception.
Face the Facts
If you are a woman, it is a biological fact that at some point your ovaries will begin reducing the production of estrogen and progesterone. This leads to irregular menstruation (perimenopause) and the eventual end of monthly cycles altogether. It is also a fact that a lack of ovarian hormone production can affect how you experience vaginal sex. Specifically, arousal and foreplay may not trigger sufficient lubrication. This factor combined with negative social stereotypes about sex and menopause along with lack of communication can create considerable challenges during this time of change.
Lean Into It
The keyword here is change — something you have no doubt been enduring for quite some time. This means that menopause can be seen as another opportunity to adapt, explore and grow with your partner instead of some sort of a dreaded end to orgasms and passionate fun. A key factor in preparing for this transition is to embrace the idea of accessory-enhanced intimacy and pleasure. Personal lubricants, vibrating toys, adult books and games and a sip or two of wine can help you turn the uncertainty of menopause into a clearly-stated reason to explore, discover and reconnect.
Awaken to the Wonders of Lube
One of the primary physical changes that occur as a result of menopause is a decrease in production of natural lubrication. Adults of all ages and sexual preferences, however, can find themselves concerned with dryness — which accounts for the incredible array of moisturizing options that are currently available. Most prefer water-based products for vaginal lubrication, and some brands offer additional dimensions of stimulation. Many are infused with enticing flavors such as tangerine peach, green apple, strawberry pomegranate and blue raspberry. Some brands offer the additional therapeutics of CBD oil and aloe vera while others feature sensation-enhancing properties that add extra warmth to a friction-heavy sexual experience.
Catch a Buzz
Communication about sex and menopause is a healthy way to address the fact that you may have a decreased response to foreplay and sensual caressing. Left unacknowledged, this can affect your overall interest in sex. Yet, introducing sensation-enhancing vibrators and toys into your intimacy can mark the beginning of a new chapter of discovery of pleasure for you and your partner. Also, as decreased blood flow to the vagina is another side-effect of menopause. This can cause the tissues to atrophy — resulting in painful intercourse. Using vibrating toys to gently stimulate the G-spot, clitoris and vaginal wall on a frequent basis will increase blood flow to the area and help keep your vaginal tissues well-circulated and healthy.
Play it Up
It has long been thought that the most powerful erroneous zone is the mind, and stimulating it through erotic literature and sexy games is a great way to set the mood for a passionate evening. If you and your partner appreciate literature, you can take turns reading tastefully explicit erotica written specifically to light up your feminine interests. Adult games that creatively inspire kissing, touching, teasing, stripping, placing bets, role playing and talking dirty can help you lighten up, and ease your anxieties about your biological changes and enjoy intimacy with your partner. Speaking of mental concerns, an advantage of menopause is no longer having to practice birth control or worry about menstrual blood flow — essentially, you can dive into spontaneous, worry-free fun any time you choose.
Have a Sip
Personal lubricant is sometimes predicated by social lubricant, and sharing a bottle of wine is a great strategy for breaking the ice and then melting it away. It's a subtle yet effective way of setting the mood for romance and intimacy. Awakening your senses with the tastes and aromas is a great way to begin a journey of pleasure and sensuality. Relax into an experience of trying new approaches to intimacy, pleasure and climaxing. Ultimately, you can even toast to the fact that sex and menopause can coexist, and the onset of one can be responsible for the enhancement of the other.
Vibe Wines™ is an online resource for information about accessory-enhanced intimacy and adult sexuality. We help people improve their erotic experiences through education and by offering a wide array of Sexy Pairings™ — gift sets of toys, games, and accessories paired with provocatively-named wines.